i can stand the screams
they are mine
my music
my place
in this place
still nothing

i can stand
no more
and no longer lie
i want to feel
not quite dead
again

burying the whores
that marry the dirt
that will never wash away
praying for the blood
that still runs cold

i am standing
loving with the screams
i want them
i need them
loud with my despair
i create them
i own them
i will never let them go

i have taken the souls
that is the key
to my hate
there will be no stopping
there will be no pause
until that last long sigh
and i come home

i will take this stand
and will not be judged
i am the executioner
i am the song
that i will no longer sing

hate me
hurt me
let me taste
let me eat
it is what i am

i stand on top
i will never win
i will never lose
i alone
wear the bones of my dead
i breathe the decay
that makes life worth dying

i thought i killed cupid tonight

i was wrong

cupid killed me

is it the difference
between day and night
that must rule our world

is it about being caught up in the moment
innocently
one Friday night
that ends in a kiss (just one kiss)

and lying in bed that night
thinking
that the kiss was nice

waking up the next morning
afraid of what happened
and how it felt

taking in the daylight
when everything 'else' goes on
that is part of your life

thinking you don't have time
for such a complication
but still find yourself smiling
even if for just a moment
when i call

you don't want to give in
you don't want to think about it
but that kiss was nice
and suddenly you forget to breathe
and want to slow down

because the sun is shining
and you are ever so busy
more and more demands each day

and with all that is going on
everything that is happening
everything that will happen
here i am
arms wide open
day or night

cupid is going to die

his little ass is mine (and not in the good way)

you know who i am talking about, that little prick who flits around with his bow of love and shoots you in the head when you are not looking, yeah, that's the one, i will find him and i will blow his arrow shooting ass out of the sky, NOT with my little .22 sig sauer, no i got something special for his meddling carcass, my sks assault rifle, my 'good' one, the one with the composite stock, folding butt, scope and 8 magazines that hold a total of 230 rounds of 7.62 hollow points

ain't love grand, or the beginning of it, or whatever the fuck my situation is, it doesn't really matter, i am fucked (not in the good way)(or maybe, too early to tell) the course has been laid and there is nowhere to get off except for the end, honestly, i hope i have caught that last train to the west, i want one long and final ride, all the way to the end of the track, ALL ABOARD

but, maybe the engine just won't go, maybe the train will derail along the way, maybe it is just taking a quick run a few miles away and i will be put off in the middle of nowhere, i can say that it doesn't matter, i can shrug my shoulders, pick up my dignity and start walking or maybe find a new home, there are rocks everywhere just waiting to be crawled under

yeah cupid, you little nancy boy, i got something for you

crap motherfucker crap